Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
