Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
