He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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