my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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