I'm pants shitting drunk right now
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
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