and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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