he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
