Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Randomize
