I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
we're making bets on your personal life
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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