I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize