ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
