What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
