And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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