what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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