I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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