I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
