So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
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I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
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I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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