Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Randomize
