As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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