Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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