someone get that fucking seahorse.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
how drunk are you?
Several
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
