i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize