Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
