omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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