My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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