you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
