Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
This girl is more easily done than said...
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
