I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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