I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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