I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
porn star boner night. come get it.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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