i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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