it wasn't lemon gatorade
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
