He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
