WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
it's like iHOP with fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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