You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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