i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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