I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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