how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.