theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke