It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
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Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
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At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.