i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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