my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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