Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
