Im at strip club and am horny
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
