You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
