I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
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We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
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You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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