Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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