Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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