I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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