I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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