Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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