i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize