Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
