Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
