I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
