i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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