i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
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