I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
