my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
