it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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