I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
